How is that possible? Why does it seem like he'll be there when I get home from work tonight? I guess maybe because that's how it's been for the last 5 years.
Well, we had a nice week together; I wish it could have been longer. Friday we went to King's Dominion and got to act like a couple of kids. Saturday we slept in a little before heading out to a friends house for a BBQ. Sunday we went to visit his family so they could see him before he left. We ate dinner and sat outside all night talking about some really random things, it was nice. Monday was supposed to be the day we didn't do anything; we just wanted to relax and hang out around the house. Of course I got anxious and we ended up venturing out. It was nice to be able to do that with him one last time. Tuesday he had to go in to work to find out what time he was leaving (4:30am yuck!) and to get a few things settled before his final outprocessing the next day. We went to dinner and enjoyed each others company. Tuesday night was the first night I broke down to him. I was trying so hard to be strong, but let's face it, I am a baby. We discussed things no 24-27 year old wants to discuss but I felt like it was necessary. Unfortunately this world is cruel and I wanted to be sure he knew how I felt if God forbid something is to happen. Wednesday was busy, we went to the gym together for one last time and then he had to rush off to go to base to do his final outprocessing. We went to dinner and just tried to act like he wasn't leaving in 12 hours... it still didn't feel real.
Thursday morning at 3am his alarm sounded and it was time. I wanted so bad to look all cute and nice for him when he left, but really 3am? I pulled my hair back and put on a simple cotton dress. He got all his stuff loaded into the car, kissed the dogs goodbye, and then we were off. The entire way he was telling me important things that needed to be done while he was gone. I probably won't remember any of it because I wasn't really there, I was out of it, still couldn't believe he was leaving. We got to base about 4:40am, he had to do somethings as soon as we got there but then we had about 10 minutes together before he had to go. We hugged for probably 8 of the 10 minutes, I told him I didn't want him to leave me and he told me he didn't want to either. He told me I looked beautiful and that he is going to miss me so much. It was time to go and as he was walking away I said "Come back to me!" and he replied with "I will."
I don't even remeber the drive home, I was in a fog. I went straight to bed and slept the next 3 hours straight and then the next 3 hours I was trying to get out of bed. It was so hard, there was no reason for me to get up. I had nothing to do, no one to see or talk to, it was just me. Once I finally got up I tried to keep busy. I trimmed some trees in the front yard, cut the grass, hung pictures in the house, emptied the cupboards and fridge of all the junk food Alex left behind. I ended up talking to Alex around 9pm, it was so nice to hear his voice.
It was really hard getting up and coming to work this morning. I really wanted to stay in bed; would one more day away from work really be that bad? I got up anyways, and now here I sit. I haven't even attempted to start working and I have been here for 2 hours. I have a feeling I am not going to be getting much done today......
